I have always believed that before giving advice to someone, it’s best to know your subject well enough to do so. Yet, amazingly there are those who have written books who claim to be authorities on certain subjects with no clue whatsoever, having had no experience. Though they think they know it all, just because they have a college degree to back it up.
There’s an old saying “With age comes wisdom”, and having reached my senior years, I have learned how true those words have proven to be, especially when it comes to being in a relationship of any kind.
Those of us who have been raised in a religious environment are taught that God created us to find a partner, have children and be with that one partner for life. As a Catholic, those words I took to heart and believed them to be the gospel truth with no questions asked, until I grew up and wondered if maybe somebody misinterpreted God’s words.
Having dated quite a few men in my life, maybe more than most and having been in three long term relationships, two of which were marriages, one of which I am still in to this day. I can attest to the fact that people, regardless of how “In love” you might have started out to be, better have a lot of patience when living under the same roof with another human being. Regardless of your sexual preference.
The chase is exciting, but once you’ve found your so-called partner, soulmate or whatever you consider them to be, at some point the novelty will wear off and when it does, the person you thought you knew and the person you pretended to be will eventually manifest and show their true colors, and that’s when the test begins.
In it’s early stages most couples who hope to have a lasting relationship will do whatever it takes to compromise over their differences. Those little annoyances will seem trivial and can be overlooked. You try to keep the flame of intimacy going, you try to do things together to keep your relationship fulfilling. There may be an occasional spat, but nothing you can’t overcome, it’s not worth getting bent out of shape over, when you love someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with.
Then there are those who regardless of how hard they try to work on having a relationship, under no circumstances will they budge to compromise for another person, it’s their way or the highway, then wonder why they are alone and most likely won’t ever be able to find someone to put up with their selfish personality.
Human beings are strange creatures, we want companionship, but at same time we want our space, our alone time. We can be giving and we can be selfish and that is the reason why at some point so many couples either end up in divorce or begin living in a loveless relationship.
Having children that was once a blessing, becomes a financial burden for many men, destroying their intimacy with their spouses. Communication begins to fade, and at some point they are living as strangers under the same roof. Those who can leave will do so at some point, but many cannot afford to, therefore, creating animosity as they feel trapped in their marriage. A reality that in our modern world is becoming more prevalent every day.
Regardless of how any relationship begins it’s all up to us how we as human beings are willing to accept the challenge. We are not perfect therefore, don’t expect to have a perfect relationship. Anyone who tells you they are in one must be on their honeymoon. “Fairytale, Happily Ever After”, endings are only in storybooks. Relationships are a leap of faith, and if you’re not willing to make that commitment, perhaps you should wait to say “I Do” or move in with your partner.